Day 918

A really hard day, emotionally. Weepy, distracted, edgy — no one specific reason. Might be getting sick. Finally in bed. So glad I’m not still drinking because juggling that on top of this much baseline icky would be Just Awful.

Now that I think on it...it was. But I hadn’t seen it at the time because it was too insidious.

Day 917

Hard day. Couldn’t get to sleep till nearly 2 and then the dogs got me up at 4:45. Kinda stunned I’m as functional as I am. Didn’t do much Actual Work today but did get the holiday shopping done. This year everyone gets a t-shirt along with their book — who doesn’t wear t-shirts? This year’s book theme is cookbooks mostly because the younger two kids will want one eventually if not now.

The family drama is on a low simmer - it will probably boil over at some point but I’ll take this for as long as it lasts.

Bed now. Maybe I’ll be wiser tomorrow.

Day 916

Ended up at work till ten o’clock. That happens so rarely I’ve forgotten when the last time was but of course it threw the whole night totally off-kilter. Like it’s past midnight and I’m still awake for one thing.

But it was okay in the end.

Day 915

Today was hard and I’m tired.

I was about to add that I had no idea why because I didn’t DO anything and then realized that was pretty silly. The household is back up to 3 dogs again and although it’s an order of magnitude better than last time it’s still more work and then there was that wet heavy unexpected snow this morning not to mention a couple of work kerfuffles. Plus the family stuff; always the family stuff. Plus it was barely 24 hours ago the furnace got fixed...again.

But I finished my book club book and it’s the best one so far - that’s something.

And sober is -always- something. Hell, way more than just “something.”

Day 914

Grateful for easy workload today and tomorrow. Harder than I thought to get back in the swing after five days away. Came home to no heat (again) and a mother-in-law issue oh joy.

Ate real food today though and it helped. Felt quite a bit better. Didn’t hurt that the local grocery has some Really Good Dates right now.

Now bed.

Day 913

A better day all around. Once I got over the morning Dealing With Critters it was a peaceful enough Sunday. Not particularly thrilled about going back to work tomorrow but so be it.

I’m doing better with the three-dog chaos this time around. Hope I can continue to do so.

Day 912 and a half

Did it again - straight to bed without posting. It's because my routine has been completely shot to shit having the three dogs all together again plus Hubby up here plus lots of family drama before his arrival. Crashed hard at 10 sharp last night with a phone so dead I had to leave it on the charger just to get it to light up again.

It is now 7:53 in the ayem and I've spent the last hour catering to critters. They seem to be settled for the moment though which means I can use this time to shake out my bag of resentment -- it got a big ol' load of pebbles just now. Why should _I_ be the one, blah blah -- well, because I'm the morning person of the house, that's why...and it's not like I don't totally make them do the nighttime stuff.

Mostly I'm out of sorts since I let myself eat WAY too much junk these past two days. When you get used to eating mostly healthy stuff and then go back to candy and cookies and potato chips in a big way your body feels sort of bloated and exploded and vile or at least mine does...and I woke up in the night with Really Terrible Heartburn the likes of which I haven't had since I was pregnant. So today I'll try to do better.

Still not drinking though so I still win.