Thursday, October 4, 2018

Day 864

Another really hard day. Right in the middle of it Eldest had a bunch of feelingsdrama which included hanging up on me twice, I didn’t get to go to lunch as I had planned, the dogs acted out and the Chinese restaurant screwed up my order.

I’m glad I’m an emotionally strong person but I’m just so tired of having to be the emotional anchor for so many ships. It would be nice to be the cared-for instead of the caregiver once ina while...but that doesn’t seem to be on the current menu. Sigh.

This is exactly the sort of thing that used to send me right to “fuck this; let’s drink” and I’m really glad I don’t do -that- any more since it made things worse not better. I realize staying sober under this kind of emotional stress is a significant accomplishment but even that feels more like a basic necessity to get through all this stuff and less like a source of pride.

Maybe a decent night of sleep will help. Sure couldn’t hurt.

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