Emotionally Exhausted

[rest of the MASH line is "..and morally bankrupt"]

Oh yes folks, I'm spent. You see just as we were getting the car thing under control Youngest got weirdly ill: neuropathy. The differential is huge and we're seeing Neurology tomorrow but I've just been worried sick, as my grandma used to say.

And of course Eldest isn't doing all that well either which means Spouse isn't as good as he could be down at the other house. At work a colleague is gone so I'm covering and the whole thing is just So. Damned. Much.

Despite all that, however, I got the shopping done and made a nice meal -- people are like the Sims and do better with good food.

And so it goes.

Day 1000

Wow. It's here. I've made it. Four digits. A thousand days.

And y'know what? It was pretty much just a day like any other. I didn't think about it till after six this evening. Made myself a sundae in honor of the day itself but ended up not wanting what seemed like cloying sweetness after all for whatever reason -- may be getting sick.

It's just so much better in every way to have that dysfunctional relationship behind me. It's hard as hell at first but it gets easier and it's really worth it. You don't grow self-esteem overnight but the complete loss of Routinely Feeling Shame kicks in pretty early and just keeps getting better.

Days 997 & 998

Easy trip home but my first day back to work was supremely annoying which I know is mostly me and not the work itself. But I made good food for dinner which helped and I’m in bed early which also helps.

Day 996

(Also 994 and 995.)

Tomorrow morning I drive back home. Being in the other house had a lot of ups and downs but a super big smsown is that the front grille of my car got cracked up. The fancy sensors are messed up now too with no Eye Sight or reverse anti-braking or _cruise_control_ and not sure it's related to that or just sort of happened at the same time. The woman who took insurance claim thinks something flew off the road or a truck and cracked it up so she asked if I heard a noise on the drive down. I was thinking "well no duh i would -remember- that I think." Didn’t day that, of course. Looks like someone kicked it to me but no proof so whaddya gonna do?It was the one thing too many yesterday. Had a little breakdown right in the middle of the driveway. Spouse said some kind words which was helpful.

Tonight I had a bedtime ice cream sundae with Spouse — I never eat ice cream at bedtime so it was nicely memorable. Also tasty.

Days 992 & 993

I’m blogging less and I can’t tell whether it’s natural evolution or drifting from sober support. Doesn’t feel drifty but then it wouldn’t, would it? In any case I’ve made it to the other house. Bad ride down - snow squalls and wind. Not slippery but poor visibility and then all kinds of stupid traffic including wreck with a lane blocked. Yucky.

Finally got here and it’s been hard for me to process how this house runs/is kept. But it’s bectime now an a good night’s sleep with NO obligations in the morning is pretty sweet.

Day 991

Home was okay enough but today work got under my skin. Such is the way of things I guess. Better than both being a problem I suppose.

Day 990

Got up early and went to the Good Grocery today - half hour each way but worth it. Made a nice dinner for the family too. Doing okay.

Hubby suggested that when I got to a thousand days I should stop counting days. I have mixed feelings about that.

Bad weather Tuesday and I’m driving Wednesday — that -should- work out so I hope it does.