Monday, March 19, 2018

Day 667

Unusual morning posting but I felt like sharing. Today I have to do the really long “Big loop” of site visits and my reward is to stop at the local Walmart afterwards. I’m far more excited about that than I ought to be. Possibly because I won’t ever make the half-hour trip -just- for a discount department store, possibly because I’m going to get some more pajama bottoms and possibly just because it’s something different. In any case I hope it makes the drive less unpleasant and am grateful to be feeling good and anticipating -anythjng- first thing in a Monday morning. Y’all know how it used to be.

MUCH later:  Had a great day. Both site visits went really quickly and I got the good shrimp salad I like from the chain restaurant before shopping.

Walked back into the office to find some mega-big news about the company’s leadership — doesn’t affect me directly but was certainly interesting. Would have liked to talk about it with the family tonight but as per usual they were all hip-deep in their own drama.

But hey, I finished one of the two sweater arms tonight so go me. I’ll eventually get to sleep and wake up genuinely rested so I can be fully functional for another busy sober day. I like that.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Day 666

A good thing about living in The Hinterlands is that if your pajamas are a solid color knit pant and a T-shirt the coat allows you to do the shopping without ever getting officially dressed. I had been to both grocery stores by 10 so I had a long bath and swapped one pair of pajamas for another. Decadent.

Then of course the family drama kicked in but I managed to avoid the vast majority in favor of knitting peacefully in my room. Made dinner and was all set to do more knitting but then all of a sudden exhaustion hit. Which is fine..,the sleeves will get done eventually. It was just as well as the telephone dragged me back into the family stuff.

Upon reflection a good chunk of the current round of family drama has been exacerbated by alcohol but of course one can’t say so to any of the drinkers. Never helps.

It does, however, make me grateful yet again that I’ve left that particular amusement park behind. Which reminds me: Wednesday will be 22 months.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Day 665

A good day. Slept in about half an hour which was enough to feel a bit indulgent but not so much as to throw off my schedule. Lunch was great- it really was the best Mexican food I’ve had in a long time - filling but not heavy. The chili relleno was -not-  batter-dipped, praise be and nothing was too salty. Probably lots of people would think it was all on the bland side but I expect everything could be  spiced up by request. I only like 1 on the 0-5 scale at Thai places so I was fine with it. Definitely will go again but next time I have lunch with this friend we are going to the Greek place as I’ve never been - I’m the only one in the family who likes it and I haven’t been to a Greek restaurant since I was in Chicago for an 8th grade field trip and the most memorable thing was the on-fire cheese because of the huge ugly-American production the adult chaperones made every time it was ordered which was a lot. It was good but I still recall being kinda mortified. In retrospect they were likely into the ourzo.

In any case it was a good time and I’m still full because of course we split a dessert: chimicheesecake which is kitschy as all get-out buy was tasty.

This evening I started my new knitting project even though the old one isn’t finished - which is rather uncharacteristic of me. I have a total of three other knitting projects and one crochet project all of which I put on hold to start the cardigan which is “the” project right now because I want to be able to wear it when I do my knitting cruise this fall...and I had planned on not doing anything else till it was done but hey, what the heck.

St Patrick’s Day is almost like New Years Eve for being happy about sobriety and a Saturday St Patrick’s Day is about as good as it gets. I got home around 3:30 and planned very specifically to not leave till morning because drunk driving is a thing. I suspect doing the shopping early will be particularly pleasant in the morning.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Day 664

Busy day but I got everything done. Finally had enough energy to knit after dinner too. However even for a Friday night it has become my bedtime so just a quick check-in to say all is still well.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Day 663

Once again I came to the couch with plans to knit and ended up just lying down instead. Which is fine, of course, just unusual. So is being tired enough to go for actual -coffee- instead of tea this morning. But otherwise the day was reasonably uneventful.

I’m meeting a friend for lunch on Saturday and looking forward to both seeing her and trying the restaurant as it’s a Mexican place which is touted to be the best in the area. It’s an hour away so I hope the weather stays reasonably okay.

And now I think I may just nap on the couch as if I go to bed for the night this early the dog and I will just have to get up for a bathroom break in an hour or two.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Day 662

Two steps forward; one step back. Overslept by half an hour this morning and was all tired and achy once awake. Oddly enough the kids, who get up at different times, also overslept.

Anyhow I was tired all day and angry for big chunks of it and I came to the couch after dinner planning on knitting and ended up just lying down under a blanket with my Kindle app for Iphone. Not good when even my down-to-just-sleeves-and-finishing sweater sounds like too much work.

We did get a pie for Pi Day though: a pre-made frozen S’mores Pie which featured marshmallow flavored meringue. Tasty but has given me what Youngest calls “the bloatingness.” I’ve discovered that eating real non-processed food -does- make a big positive difference but then I get tired or angry or both and end up chowing down on highly processed additive-laden sweets and/or starches. It would be easier if there were more instantly available -good- food choices but in my corner of rural Upper Northeast there’s nothing like a grocery store salad bar for at least 30 if not 50 miles in any direction and the prepackaged stuff in the deli aisle leans heavily toward mayonnaise based salads with the “exotic” quota being filled by salsa, hummus and the Cedars brand of tabuli and stuffed grape leaves, both of which are often out of date.

And I just realized while lying here that I really -really- don’t feel like assembling a breakfast or lunch for tomorrow. Usually I do because I’m not that impressed with our cafeteria offerings either but too tired/down/annoyed/whatever to knit is also too tired/down/annoyed to do anything else either. I’m closing down the mountain in a big way...which is fine. I’ve made the conscious decision to treat the new Never Ending Winter addition to everything -else- in my life pretty much the way I dealt with very early sobriety: do only the very bare minimum and act as if recovering from flu. There will be time to get back into things like a nice daily walk once the snowdrifts stop being hip-high.

The good need is that despite all the negatives, the idea of drinking hasn’t popped up and doesn’t appeal at all now that I’m lying here consciously thinking about it. It’s just “ew, that wouldn’t help” with a dash of “probably make things worse.” So one does get to that point.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Day 661

A much better day.

The weather is still vile - so much so that I actually changed the channel of the TV in the car shop’s waiting room because I simply could not stand another minute of the Weather Channel waxing orgasmic about how bad the snow in Massachusetts had become. However work was significantly better and I was even able to leave early. Flat-out planned to have ice cream for dinner which worked out well as the kids wanted breakfast for dinner and a waffle went just fine with ice cream. We got one of those six-inch round waffle irons as a supermarket promotional giveaway years ago and although I don’t break it out often it’s always a huge hit when I do so that was quite encouraging.

After dinner I situated myself on the couch and got to knit for the first time in almost a full week so that helped a lot too...and better still was that Youngest hung out and chatted a while. Things were going swimmingly till stupid family drama reared its head again. But I extricated myself as quickly as  feasible and just went the hell to bed...with more annoyance than upset which is progress. Just in the past week I’ve had some sort of inner shifting of - well, I don’t know what but the outcome is that I’m -starting- to be able to let stuff roll off my back rather than taking it all so seriously and personally. Which is good since my plate is quite full enough as-is — no room for other people’s stuff too.

The joke from tonight’s popsicle stick isn’t as good as the hop-timist but it’s similar: what do you call a sleeping Triceratops?  A dino-snore.