Day Three Years Is Only Eight Days Away

And boy has it been a busy three years or what? I'm starting to catch my breath, finally, I  think. This will be a big long Update Post and then maybe I'll move back into more Thoughts&Feelings Posts...we shall see.  It's all an adventure, y'know? 

Two weeks ago I finally FINALLY stopped having low calcium symptoms entirely and fell into a convenient two-in-the-morning/two-at-night Citrical routine which seems to have worked because last week I got my two-month-post-op labs a full ten days early and they were fine -- parathyroid hormone, calcium and ionized calcium all squarely in the middle of the bell curve.  So that's done.  Just in time for me to see my sweet but ditzy FP in follow-up this Thursday. The scar itself is nothing - just a short curvy maroon line across the center of my neck and the maroon part is fading with time. 

As for emotions...I've decided I must be just as strong as everyone has been telling me through the years because I have been through a LOT and still seem to be doing okay. The nature of my job means that I'm sitting alone in my office most of the day so I have time for self-reflection and I think I'm getting back to a reasonable baseline. Having everything "set for now" is a good feeling too: Spouse and I go to Big Medical Center (3.5 hours west of us)  the first week of June for two back-to-back days of appointments with "the team" on Tuesday June 4 and Wednesday June 5 -- I'm taking the whole week as FMLA so we have time afterwards to get situated. Then Tuesday June 18 at 1 pm he has an appointment with his new primary care physician so that loop is closed. 

Youngest Duckling is working her same summer job as last year and started yesterday -- that's good too. She's going to see her boyfriend in Minneapolis (for the second time ever - they met through an online gaming guild months ago) the weekend of June 14/15/16 --- well actually she's flying out the night of Thursday the 13 because he can't get any part of Thursday off but is taking the Friday. They're hoping to do more stuff in/around Minneapolis since the weather will be better this time.  She's considering switching majors from Biology to Medical Technology so she can join the shortage profession of lab techs because it means she could be highly employable anywhere in the country.  However our local college, to which she is commuting from home, doesn't offer that degree so she may end up switching schools at the end of next year....big question is whether she switches to a school in/around Minneapolis or whether there is a school with a lab-tech degree close enough to here that she could still commute. That's all stuff to consider over the summer though, no particular rush.  Spouse commented yesterday that the Mary Tyler Moore theme song really _does_ fit her and seems okay with her having these big adventures, which does my heart good as he was so very protective of Eldest Duckling but again....they are completely different kids. 

Meanwhile Eldest Duckling is really loving her cashier's job at the local deli and that's giving her a lot of self-esteem and sense of purpose.  She has finally mastered the lottery machine!  I can hear the personality disorder creeping in at the edges of her voice now and then but she's staying sober and staying busy and both of those, along with Cymbalta, seem to be keeping her sane enough to stop going to any -new- healthcare appointments and start paying off the bills for the ones she already racked up. She and her husband dyed their hair coordinating shades of totally not-natural red over the weekend and although I'm totally fine with them doing it because everyone should wear their hair however they like, full stop, I think it's not a wise move because SiL is in the middle of several job interviews for stuff better than his current position as cashier at the local liquor store (yeah, I know, right?) and a shock of bright-red hair isn't going to be a deal-killer but if he's standing next to another equally qualified applicant I suspect the one with normal hair color will have a slight edge.  I'm just grateful Eldest waited till AFTER she went on campus to set back up for fall classes. In any case they look like the opening scene of the newest X-Men movie or something along those lines.

Middle Duckling graduated and is planning to move to NJ this coming Saturday. I find myself feeling quietly gut-punched about that and am trying really hard just to carry on as if nothing is wrong for two reasons. First, I -want- him to go to NJ because there are way better job opportunities there. If he doesn't want to work for the local healthcare system, probably in the IT or phone departments, then there really isn't much for him in this whole area but down there he's got all of Philadelphia at his disposal.  Also, secondly, I did NOT feel this way when Eldest got ready to move and moved out and I feel -terrible- as a parent for the difference. I realize one has separate relationships with each kid and Middle's relationship with me was never as full of conflict as Eldest's and mine but still, it feels really awkward to be already mourning the loss of my son when I was all for getting my oldest daughter out the door sooner rather than later. 

In any case, I took him to Mens Wearhouse yesterday and got him totally tricked out for business wear thanks to a very generous BOGO offer.  We had planned to buy one suit, two shirts two ties, shoes and belt...ended up with two suits, four shirts, four ties, two pairs pants and two belts. I figured he'd go with basic black but he chose a royal blue Tommy Hilfiger and a lighter-end-of-charcoal gray Calvin Klein.  Looked sharp, too, just like the ZZ Top song. FYI he's a 38 short, off the rack, with a 16" dress shirt, both slim cut, and size 9 good dress shoes (he's usually a 10.)  So that was all good. 

So as mentioned, this coming Saturday my son will load up his car and drive to the NJ house to stay...but Spouse and I are also going down in my car so that _Spouse_ can stay a week as well. I think I may have mentioned this in passing earlier and if so I definitely mentioned how much, at the time we first started floating the idea, I was dead-set against it ...but as I may have predicted at the time, I softened. Spouse's health has improved enough that I'm not so scared to let him out of my sight/influence any more and it -does- make sense for him to be there not just to smooth the sibling transition but also to appropriately "wrap up" his stuff in the NJ house.  He was still SO sick when we left to come "home" that he didn't do a lot of household electronics maintenance he wanted to do.  So I'm okay with the visit since after this one-week visit he doesn't plan to be back down to NJ till after whatever happens via transplant has happened. I'll go down on Memorial Day weekend to fetch him and his two dogs back up. 

As for Spouse and his own health, the Lasix -finally- got off the extra fluid from the hospital so he is much much more comfortable and although he's still got the bad lower-extremity edema he had before the admission, all the other edema has resolved and doesn't seem to be re-accumulating.  His energy level improves with each passing day and I know it to be true because he's going up and down the stairs to get his own meals more and more. He's frankly been pushing himself a bit hard but I can't complain since I know I'd be doing the same thing in his situation....and I didn't even grow up with a mother who saw every illness in a child as just one big overwhelming inconvenience and treated them accordingly.  

Speaking of my MiL....she has had some sort of life-changing experience as far as her son is concerned which is the nicest way to spin "gee, she doesn't hate me any more and it's WEIRD" which is pretty much the stunned reaction of Spouse and the rest of the family. She's _genuinely_ nice to him and after thirty years of something that was Very Much Not That it's really strange.  I mean it's a -good- strange, mind you, but still odd. We stopped by her apartment on Saturday and the excitement/happiness vibes radiating off her at having him in her recliner chair were as visible as if we were all in a cartoon strip. Odd.

"Cartoon strip" leads into my own fun/relaxation and not to worry I'm making sure I get plenty of that. I don't think I mentioned it here before but I have been doing a weekly podcast  with some online friends of mine about the Survivor television show. It's silly but has been a bright note of "a NEW kind of fun" throughout this whole recent ordeal.  We always record at 9:30 on Sunday night and  the penultimate show was last night in fact - the two hour Survivor season finale is this Wednesday at 8pm.  I've also got books which I sneak-read on my iPhone Kindle app all the time.  I have several knitting projects but my creative energy is all going toward family and self healing right now so I haven't knit a stitch since the immediate post-hospital recovery time in New Jersey and that was mostly just to prove to myself that I still could.  It will eventually come back though. Also I am carrying around a brochure in my bag for  a work-related conference 10/23-26 in Las Vegas and have already scheduled the time off. I may not GO of course but I started telling Spouse this time LAST year that I wanted to see Las Vegas before it  became a barren wasteland due to climate change (that last is hyperbole but still) and that of course I wanted to do it the two of us but if I got a chance to go by myself I would and this may be that chance depending on how he feels about/is capable of flying in October.  We shall see.  Mostly I just like carrying around the brochure. 

I read The Great Gatsby for book club and feel rather accomplished for having done it since that's one of "the classics" LOTS of people have read or seen as a movie. 

Mostly, I've been increasingly aware of the Seventies catch-phrase "Life is what happens when you're making other plans."   So very true.

It's been hard but there's so much hope...and I remain so thankful and grateful to have what I do right at this moment. Even if it all goes kerblooey in some way tomorrow it's just so much better than it could have been.

And I think it would have been nigh impossible if I had not been sober.  That's the foundation on which everything else has been built.  Sturdy.  Like rock.