Three Years Plus One Day

Yesterday was totally not exciting...and that was just fine.

I did exactly what I had told Spouse and Youngest I planned to do: come home, mop the family room floor, eat something, take a shower and do my laundry.  After that I went to bed early.

I did, however, get my new Injinji toe-socks last night and I'm wearing a pair today and both pairs will definitely end up being my "three year sober socks" so that's nice.

What's gone is a lot of heartache: did I get enough chores done before I started drinking, can I have that last drink and still remember to move my laundry over, I need extra because I'm resentful about the floor...you know how it goes.  Getting rid of alcohol doesn't change any of the rest of life but it makes the rest of life so much easier to manage...and that's huge.

It does mean that you have to feel all your feelings, which even now after three years sometimes sucks but you get a lot better at figuring out what to do with feelings once they show up and that's a pretty cool thing. I have grown so much more as a person.

As I have told my kids...it took quite a few months for the really good stuff to start kicking in - a lot longer than I thought it would, actually - but now that I'm here I wish I'd done it a whole lot sooner. Like -years- sooner.  But it's never too late to start.