Three Years and Thirteen Days

We are in the Nice Hotel in the Big City because all day tomorrow and half of Wednesday will be taken up by classes and meetings to get started down the liver transplant path. We have a suite and it’s a very nice room with dual zone climate control (key) but the in-hotel food choices aren’t great and historic part of Big City doesn’t offer much in the way of little shops or cafes. I found one that might do for tomorrow though which is enough. It’s a curious mix of anxiety and boredom.

Which, I suppose, beats the resentment and annoyance I’ve had going since Memorial Day weekend. I’m getting all the things done which need to be done and I’m being decent to everyone but it is really wearing thin. Eldest is still fairly high maintenance dramatic and MiL is playing emotional games in spite of knee surgery and the youngest dog had an escape on Saturday and nearly got clobbered by a car and got carried back up the hill because I took off after him without a leash and...

...I’m tired of all of it. Just ridiculously emotionally fed up. It’s not fair, hasn’t been fair, will never be fair...and that’s just the way it is. Not to worry — im still finding small joys here and there — but overall I’m just not real thrilled with life right now. There’s definitely room for improvement. Sure it could be -hugely- worse and I’m grateful it isn’t...but still.

Plus we really have no idea what to expect tomorrow and it’s a source of worry and anxiety.

Back to trying to distract myself.