Long day with more drama than I wanted and the last day of my vacation.
Just a few minutes ago I learned that the husband of a childhood friend died earlier tonight: complications of the flu. The first death of my peer group and it is kind of stunning. The friend and I have been estranged for several years and I didn’t know the husband well at all so I probably won’t be doing all that much for/about the death but it is still shocking.
Just two weeks ago, I was told a long-time friend's wife was in the hospital not doing well. Her husband was one of my husband's groom men in our wedding 22 years ago. Last week she passed of liver failure. She was 56 years old. One month older than myself. We went to the funeral. It was sobering and made me ashamed of taking up drinking again. It's a reminder life is a gift, and to abuse the gift with drinking (the way I do) is a shame. Your commitment to staying sober through everyday life's ups and downs is inspirational. Thank you. LL
ReplyDeleteOh honey what a beautiful thing to say! I know from experience that once you Really Want to quit there is always a certain amount of shame in continuing to do it but if I can take away or lift any if not all of it I would: people do what they can do when they can do it and that's just how we all are. I'm reasonably sure I would never have managed an entire -year- of sobriety or even really more than a couple-few months if my mother were still alive. I have spent a big part of the past week telling Eldest "for ALL the oral things - eating, drugs, drinking, smoking - it doesn't do any good at all to be draconian and harsh about it because people have to do it when -they- are ready. It can't be forced from the outside. That counts for ourselves too. I don't consider myself particularly religious but I've found much to love in the phrase "Jesus said love everybody; that means ourselves too." Even when we do what we believe to be bad. Perhaps especially then.
DeleteHugs! :-)
S
Lia, yes, to what Sam said! I finally forgave myself for drinking too much, and then I could get sober. Please steer away from shame. We are human. Everyone has something. Hugs. xo
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