Another Day 2...

...and I hope it's my last Day 2. 

Hoping hard enough that I started a brand-new blog to help.  As Belle says, try different, not harder.

The blog title "Fighting Complacency" was taken which is a shame because that's my theme these days and here's why:

Decided to quit "for real" July 2, 2015.  Got 56 days which is the second-longest I've ever gone* then slipped back into pretty close to nightly drinking for nearly 3 weeks and had another Day 1 on September 15. 

That one went better for longer...into uncharted waters past Day 140.  Thought it would be forever and that I finally was a non-drinker and wasn't that all fine and dandy?  Yeah, well...around Day 180 I started getting complacent.  Something like "hey, it's been six months, you've got this" which might have been okay except...

...April was coming up and that's a personally hard month for me: wedding anniversary (spouse still drinking,) anniversary of my mother's death (died a raging alcoholic, recycle tub full of Barton's vodka bottes,) and work took a nose-dive too. Still thought it was no big deal and that no, I didn't need to do anything special or different for myself other than what I'd been doing.

Got to Day 202 and had the private realization "shit, I don't think I've gone this long without alcohol in my LIFE...I remember getting watered-down wine as a -tiny- child" and the public announcement from the family that "you were a lot less crabby when you were drinking" and there ended up being no Day 203.

Drank on April 6 and although there was a five-day run in mid-April when I thought I'd gotten my mojo back, it's been booze damned near every day for forty-five freaking days.  About six weeks.  A month and a half.  Exactly like it was last year and the year before and the whole freaking decade before.

It sucked.

Time to stop the cycle. I'm fighting complacency.

**Quit for a little over 4 months back in 2004 and it was terrific and I felt much better but because it was always around I quit quitting...for eleven freaking years.