Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Fourth Night

It isn't Twelfth Night yet but I'm getting there.

Making this blog my "try different/add a tool" must be working since I dreamed about it last night. Had a drinking dream and part was "But what about the blog?!" Gotta love subconscious accountability.

Speaking of drinking one of the things I've heard and read over the years is "if you quit for a while and go back to it you will pick up exactly where you left off." That one is true. For me, anyhow. Oh sure, that very first night I had less but in no time at all I was right back to a half pint of decent vodka plus one or two minis and although the minis started out as only one Kaluha they quickly morphed into a flavored vodka or a Tanqueray gin. Make that a flavored vodka AND a Tanqueray gin. Spouse liked to wait till after 7 to start but once I was home and settled I usually poured at any time past six and if it was a bad day (and it is so easy for That Voice to make any day bad) I'd start as soon as I got home at 5:30-ish because I liked that hard-spirits-on-empty-stomach rush. Plain club soda mixer.

No wonder I was pushing fluids and eating stupid crap between the end of the booze and bedtime and no wonder I had miserable nights. What -is- rather a wonder was how easily I slipped right back into that pattern even knowing how much better life was without it. Ethanol is insidious for sure. Six shots on a weeknight didn't even seem particularly abnormal since I was doing All The Things each day in spite of not feeling truly human till elevenish.

Hence the changes this time around and the Fight Complacency mantra.

Today was a good day. Went much like yesterday in the breaking down of tasks with playtime in between. Brain fog and some clumsiness and one brief episode of weepiness but overall manageable. Even in a Really Annoying meeting.

Now for another decent night of sleep. I'm looking forward to the double digit days when sleep goes from decent to downright good.

1 comment:

  1. Hello! I just found your blog. Glad to see things going well. I just read this: 'What -is- rather a wonder was how easily I slipped right back into that pattern even knowing how much better life was without it.' I wanted to say how true this is for me too. It baffles me to be honest. Checking in on blogs seems to have helped this time, and even if I don't post much myself I definitely feel more accountable than in the past. Good for you for stopping, hope everything continues to go smoothly x