Day 798

Today was a really hard day.

In addition to the new three-dig baseline there was family drama and my dog got so excited about going out that he jumped as I was putting on his leash. Dogskull bashed my right cheekbone hard. It REALLY hurt. Stunningly so - I cried like a little kid which triggered the floodgates. I bawled all throughout getting a bag of veggies from the freezer and collapsing into the recliner chair and eventually the family investigated. I stayed in the chair with that ice for a good 45 minutes, boring though it was, and I am cautiously optimistic I kept it from bruising. Cautiously. We will know in the morning.

Part of why I’m so glad about that is because it is a universal constant across the globe that if we see a woman with facial bruising everyone’s first thought, no matter how brief or in passing is “I wonder what man did that to her.”

I still had a whole full weekend day of stuff afterwards though, like it or not, and I did it all but was smart enough to ask for help a couple times. Progress.

Had drinking thoughts. Just thoughts, just in passing, but I got as far as “and it wouldn’t help anything - would make it all worse, in fact - and you’d be blowing more than two -years-.” Stress plus family drama plus other drinking family members plus media...but I didn’t drink and I’m not gonna drink and that’s that.

I’m gonna go to bed is what I’m gonna.