Day 580

19 months today.

Never thought I'd be here and it's definitely a good feeling but today was all about other stuff.

Had an unpleasant work thing first thing - this week has been a string of those. This one had a component of trust-breaching too, just like the thing last week.

But that paled in comparison to lunch with OML.  It wasn't as unpleasant as it could have been but it wasn't entirely easy either...and had a peculiar component. (It's late and I don't feel like going back through old posts so if I blogged this already please forgive the repeat.) I extended the invitation to lunch on November 26 and on the 28th we settled on Dec 21. That conversation ended with me offering her the choice of two places and completely open-ended timing. 

Didn't hear one thing from her for weeks. Figured that this Monday night or Tuesday morning I would message to see if we were still on and finalize a time. Meanwhile over this past weekend Middle had made some vague and somewhat hyperbolic noises about driving down to the other house for Christmas as his last final was on Tuesday afternoon. None of us, including himself, took it very seriously. But Monday noonish I got the following message:

OML: Afternoon, are we still on for Thursday? We can meet at Place Two. I scheduled an extra hour so I will not be rushed for time. SiL stated that your son was traveling to Other House for Christmas. Can I send SiL and Eldest gifts down with him? I can have them with me on Thursday.

After I was done having feelings about it I replied that I was glad she had messaged because I was planning to touch bases, that of course we were still on but that Middle's trip was FAR from a sure thing but  (here's the no-good-deed-goes-unpunished part) I'd be happy to take the gifts and if he didn't go I'd send them myself so she would be set either way. She made no further comments about the gifts but picked a time. That night I confirmed that Middle's trip -was- mostly just hot air and that he was -not- going to really go.  But hey, she might've picked up on the "not definite" piece and even if she didn't the post office was on the way back from the venue so how hard could it be to stop after lunch?

All during the lunch there was no talk of gifts at all so I thought maybe she'd played it the way I would have done, namely "oh if it's not for sure then no big deal I'll send them myself - better safe than sorry." Yeah, well, not so much. She had brought the gifts and when she found out I'd walked the 5 blocks from work to restaurant she immediately said she'd drive me back. "The gifts" turned out to be one really large tote bag stuffed full of wrapped items...and heavy. Surprisingly heavy. Heavy enough she was right about not walking back...which was fine since I'd have to find a shipping box anyhow. I made small talk while having a whole bunch of feelings on the way back to work.

Turns out the tote weighed 21.6 pounds on our bathroom scale...but I had a box just the right size. Well, if I took the two on-end clothing boxes out and put them flat on top, that is. When I did that I noticed a brand-new faux-needlepoint stocking stuffed just as snug as a sausage which would travel better turned on its side...and in the turning I noticed it was one of those pre-personalized ones with "SiL" on it. Not "SiL and Eldest" just SiL and there was nothing even remotely resembling another stocking anywhere in the tote bag - just wrapped things packed tightly together. Yet another opportunity for feelings.

Just as I'd returned from putting the sealed and labeled box in the car (I've already warned Eldest it isn't going to be there before Christmas) I got a call from MiL about ABL - she was supposed to pick him up for the holiday visit tomorrow but the weather is going to be lousy tomorrow so was there any way to get him early? I needed some things from the grocery so I volunteered to run him over to her place and she was appropriately grateful. We even had a "me and my brother against my family/me and my family against my tribe/me and my tribe against my country/me and my country against the world" kind of moment when I shared the whole Presents Event with her.

When I started putting my items on the belt at the supermarket I realized I had left home in my lounging-around clothes which meant my cards, money and such were still on the dresser. More feelings! One of those feelings was a sliver of gratitude that the cashier hadn't rung anything up yet.

Once I got back from the grocery the -second- time I finally ate dinner which unfortunately included too many sweet chili garlic pretzel bites. I've since thrown the rest away, bag and all: they aren't that good but are strangely addictive and trigger the eating of more non-pretzel-bites stuff (probably the dextrose and maltodextrin; I've learned over the years I'm sensitive to both of those that way) and also the garlic part lingers for Just Hours.

I was so busy having that feelings-filled day I didn't have any time at all to think of the new milestone I've just achieved...but it will still be there tomorrow. For now it's definitely bedtime.