Day 414

Long damned day. Finally realized belatedly that "out of town weekend" does not necessarily equal "vacation" which kind of helped my mental outlook. Still hasn't been a very good weekend thus far and don't really expect tomorrow to be much better. Expect it to be worse, in fact.

But even lousy sober Sundays beat hung over Sundays  And no matter how lousy it is there will eventually come a bedtime and then a whole new day.

Was lying here in bed appreciating the size of four hundred and fourteen days. Fourteen months will be here before I know it...and the next Really Big milestone is 500 days...and that doesn't seem impossibly far away either.

Eldest was asking me in car this evening what it (long term sobriety) was like and this is what I said:

Well the first two weeks are -really- hard but then it eases up a little the next week and by then you're close to a month which gives you a boost. The second month goes better and then by the end of -two- months you feel a lot better.

She asked what the biggest changes I noticed were and I had to stop and think because "-everything-" was true but sounded too glib. First I said "my emotions got so much better -- instead of being like this [finger up and down fast in spiky zig zags] they're more like this [same finger making a much slower sine wave]." Then I said "and the -sleep- is so much better."

The thing I didn't say was "it took a while but my -spirit- started growing and still is."