Day 454

Another not-great day.

Work very busy because one person already had scheduled vacation when another got invitation from his university-dean sister to bring high-schooler child out for combined eclipse and college viewing...and I'm not the kind of person who would say no to that nor do I want to be. So I was feeling pretty overwhelmed all day and have another just like it tomorrow.

Family drama still running very high at the other house: the visit of Scylla and Charybdis is not going smoothly. Yes that's a tactful understatement. I'm sympathetic of course and do care what's happening and do wish I could make it less unpleasant. However at the same time the needy side of me is thinking "hey when does anyone ever give a damn about me and -my- problems, huh?" So far I've been doing a pretty good job of keeping my Bag of Resentment empty but it hasn't been entirely easy since one of my recurrent whine-themes is "everyone else's crises always trump my crises wah wah.

My big achievement the past couple days has been -not- stress-eating all the sugars and starches. Phone conversations with intoxicated family members have kept me from even remotely wanting booze but I've had to fight similar urges to stand in front of the open pantry eating butterscotch chips from the bag. Have to keep telling myself "it won't really help...in fact it wil just make you feel guilty and lousy later." Sound familiar?

Fortunately I'm much better at other ways to self soothe than I was a year ago. Pajamas first thing, super easy dinners, plenty of playtime...it all helps. So does sleep which I'm about to have now.