Day 465

In continuing yesterday's theme of noticing and appreciating the changes long-term sobriety brings I have another example.  I think I mentioned one of my sources of ongoing work stress: the possibility that my boss, with whom I like working, might be leaving.  This morning first thing I went to the main cafeteria to get some tea and I happened to run into my boss. I was going out; he was coming in.

"Hey SamKD, how ya doin?'"

"I'm fine...how are YOU doing?"

"I'm doing fine. Just great."

"That's good to know.  I heard a rumor that I hope _isn't_ true."

"Oh well who knows what's going on these days [looked away when he said it so my suspicions are up but looked back at me to say] but I'm doing fine."

"Good. I'm glad. I -like- having you as my boss."

[as he's walking on]  "Well thank you! That's good to hear!"

So why is this a sobriety thing? Because any Monday morning two years ago that would never have happened. First, I would have gone to the smaller cafeteria in my own building to get maximum fluid with minimum movement and second, if I had run into my boss I would have just smiled and said "Hi" while worrying if he could -tell- I was kinda hung over. I always said I wouldn't drink on Sunday but did anyway and I always said I would drink -less- on Sunday and sometimes I even did but often I ended up drinking the same amount as any weeknight. Occasionally even more if it had been a "bad" day to justify starting earlier and/or I knew I had an "easy" Monday.

The lack of shame is not to be underestimated. It's small but quietly life-changing.

==much later==

Glad I wrote early in the day when I was still fresh as the day got more unpleasant as it progressed. Long useless meeting in the middle of the day and one that doesn't even start till 5:30 tomorrow evening but at least that one is phone-in.

Time to unwind in bed with a book.