Day 456

Good things happened today. The oatmeal, however, wasn't one of them: too salty.

A guy came to clean the gutters and a different guy came to dismember and remove the apple tree which came down in a storm earlier this month. Spurred on by their example I took down the bee balm (Monarda) which had finally lost all its blooms. Tomorrow I'll trim the hedges and the peonies which will make the outside fall-ready earlier than it's been for many a year.

Also tomorrow Middle will come home with his grandmother and great-aunt this bringing the big drama-inducing other-house visit to a close.

Had a really ugly frustrated/angry/sad bit of time in the late afternoon/early evening but I rode it out. It eventually passed. Even now, at 15 months on Monday, it is still not easy to just feel the damned feelings. There's usually at least some part of my brain in a mild panic going "okay, not booze but what -else- might make this go away?!!?"  That part has to be told calmly and without malice "Time. Time will make this pass. And it will be okay."

The whole "just sit with your feelings" thing is valuable but harder than it looks.

Tomorrow's breakfast, on the other hand, will be easy: a pan of pre-made frozen cinnamon rolls. The kind you thaw overnight in the fridge then let rise in the morning till someone else in the house starts stirring. That's one less thing.