Monday, October 3, 2016

Day 135 (and a half)

What a day.

Groceries were delayed because Middle stayed over (with the car) at a friend's and the internet service went down an hour before my mother-in-law's visit to see ABL so I went from playing pair-of-hands with online tech support to prove that it really was their problem and not our equipment to family politics in the space of about fifteen minutes.

Internet is still out; that's why the "(and a half)" since it's actually morning of Day 136 now and I'm at work because in town they never lost internet. Yes, there's a bit of bitterness there.

After MIL left I realized mucking about with hardware loosened one of the local network Ethernet cables because ABL didn't have access to all his old TV shows and told me about it.  Didn't figure the cable part out on my own though, so I had to call Spouse for troubleshooting by phone which made me feel exceedingly stupid.  Back in the days of TRS-80 and original Macintoshes I was highly computer literate and the grade of which I'm proudest in my entire undergraduate career was an A- in Digital Computing (a 300-level hardcore course designed mostly for majors) but now 30 years later I'm utterly incompetent in part because "tech" is one of Spouse's major domains and has been since before we met so I stopped doing any of it at all ever.

I was doing reasonably okay with all of the above.  Well, "reasonably okay" might in retrospect have been "barely holding on without a tantrum."  Then Eldest wanted to rehash every last detail and nuance of the MIL visit by telephone and for some reason that was the straw which broke the camel's back.  I didn't want to drink at all but I ended up eating way too much stuff including half the super-easy raspberry tart I made as an experiement (tube crescent roll dough--without the perforations if they sell it in your area--flat on a cookie sheet, half a jar of jam down the middle, fold sides over, bake -- it works) This of course on the very day I had said to myself "how 'bout we try switching down to dried fruit instead of all this chocolate, hmm?"

I finished one good book and started what I hope will be another but I'm still pretty bummed about life, the universe and everything right now.  It's not that anything particularly bad has happened but on the other hand nothing particularly good has happened either and I feel somewhat at odds with my family these days.  Not in the fighting or arguing or not-getting-along sense but more in the I-feel-so-different-from-these-people sense.  Which admittedly isn't very far removed from plain ol' you-don't-understand-me resentment so it might just be that in disguise.  Probably is, in fact, as there felt like an underlying vein of "unappreciated" running through most of yesterday.

A night's sleep has helped and I'm hoping another day of routine will help more. 


  1. I will be interested to hear your feedback on the novel you are just about to start. Sounds interesting. As for the mood, well it is October and days are drawing in and we don't get as much daylight. As a big S.A.D sufferer I can tell by mid sept my mood drops but by Oct a lot of folk just get a general malaise. Maybe read some comedy or watch some comedies on Nexflix. I am like you in that I love to hunker down with a good book but sometimes I think we keep ourselves too much in isolation. It sounds like you have a great deal of responsibilities and not a lot of back up. Don't let too many pebbles go in that sack, it gets awfully heavy. Speaking as someone who completely get it. Hope tomorrow/today is better.

  2. Wow, the new book you are reading sounds interesting!
    I hope your day went better.