Day 146

Not a great day.

Drove down to Chaos South where Spouse and Eldest are -- took exactly 5 hours.  Woke up still irritable for no reason and then got way too damned hungry on top of it.  Food helped but then irritable came back with a vengeance.

You'd think I'd be happy. Well, I think I ought to be happy, anyhow. But I'm not. Don't have any resentment, which is amazing in its own right, but I'm in one of those moods where the glass is not only half-empty but cracked and probably poisoned besides.

What's even worse is that there's a huge layer of boredom pasted on top of irritable: Spouse is napping, Eldest is on the phone, I'm perversely not in the mood for any of the entertainments I brought and annoyed that I can't find anything else. And it's vacation so of course I think I ought to be enjoying every moment I've got.

This is not a good combination. This is a very bad combination, in fact. This is a combination which has awakened That Voice big-time.  I'm keeping it at bay by pointing out that I am not about to start over with a whole new Day One this far along...not when I'm already about three-quarters of the way back to my last personal best of 202 days. It's not coming easily today though, that's for sure.

**Much Later**

Got through the evening and it's finally bedtime.  Watched silly videos (You Suck At Cooking) on YouTube alone for the worst of it then stupid regular TV with family. That Voice finally shut up and went away - thought it would last forever but it didn't just like it never does - and I've moved from irritable and generally cranky to just tired. 

Tomorrow is a whole new day and it may be tons better. Even if it isn't I'm at least starting it sober with all my days intact and a good night's sleep I'm about to go have. I'm still out of sorts enough not to feel entirely all the way to happy about that but a kernel of quiet contentment is definitely there.