Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Days 136 and 137

Kinda lousy days. 

Still no internet at home - service provider has a call scheduled for between 2 and 4pm tomorrow.  It's the one thing too many this week.  Not a HUGE issue but enough of an issue to be deeply annoying rather like a bug bite or a paper cut.

Yesterday was full of work drama which spilled into today--I have learned that I have the complete and absolute support of my boss and that I am highly thought of, both of which are good things, but the drama is still drama nonetheless.

Had to get a jumpstart for Middle's car at the local McDonald's last night because he needed internet access to do his online homework and decided not to go in, like a civilized person, but to stay in his car in the parking lot which would have been fine if he'd either not played the radio or kept the engine running.  I thought he knew better. 

Haven't wanted to drink but the proximity of Halloween candy hasn't been a good thing. There was a lot of rage going on yesterday related to the work stuff and I overeat more due to anger than just about any other reason.  I keep telling myself that overeating isn't nearly as damaging as overdrinking was but then I have That Voice which is saying things like "you're just substituting one for the other" and "who do you think you're kidding?" and "well if you can get a handle on your drinking why can't you get a handle on your eating?" and a lot of other critical things and this is in spite of the fact that I wrote right here in this blog that I wasn't going to even -attempt- to deal with the whole Food Thing till I was farther along the sobriety path as I knew that was part of what contributed to my going back to the booze last time around.

The voices in my head don't treat me very well or think too highly of me and that's a problem because then I look to external validation to shut them up and seek praise and all sorts of other things from people who don't have a clue that they're supposed to be fighting demons and goblins not just being a decent caring human being.

I'm hanging on but that's about all I'm doing right now.

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