Friday, October 14, 2016

Day 147

I sure hope this vacation starts getting better.

The irritable/angry didn't hit hard till early afternoon but it seems to have settled down for a nice visit. That Voice thinks it ought to be part of the visit too, of course. Of -course- what a lousy day of vacation needs is -booze-, right?

Yeah well not so much. If I am having this much trouble dealing with Spouse, Eldest and ABL now, stone cold sober, then trying to do it drunk or hung over would be orders of magnitude worse. I know this to be true but there is still that itch-you-can't-scratch urge. Fueled very much by equal parts of "I can't fucking stand the feelings I'm having right now" and "bored out of my mind; why did I bring -these- entertainments?"

Accepting the things I can't change is surprisingly difficult tonight. Probably because "things" in this case is "the beliefs and behaviors of loved ones." Time to go drown myself in something on my Kindle app -- fiction was my first best drug, after all.


Dinner, dessert and an early bedtime. When in doubt just go to bed. Tomorrow might be lots better.

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