Friday, November 11, 2016

Day 175

Draggy day.

No motivation because I've been sad all day. Don't really know -why- but have had the Big Sad all day long. Almost weepy at points feeling like everyone else is somehow having a more/better/happier/more enjoyable life.

So after getting the gottas done I decided to go to bed at barely nine on a Friday night. BIG excitement there. But hey, I have a book and I'm driving to the other house in the morning so the sooner I get up, the sooner I can hit the road and the sooner I will be done with the driving.

Didn't want to drink but -did- get a flare of anger overhearing some mildly tipsy people when I was out today. Wasn't quite sure if it was "how dare YOU get to enjoy something I can't any more" or its more self-centered cousin "dammit why can't -I- have fun like that any more?" but it was pretty short-lived. I don't really want to go back down -that- tiring and time-consuming path; I think it was more not being happy with what I -do- have these days. However even if I can't get behind the emotional. Emerita, the physical benefits of sobriety are unarguable: lower blood pressure, better sleep, better concentration, better lipid profile - it is objectively worthwhile even when I get sulky.

Tomorrow is a whole new day. That always helps.

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