Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Day 263

Another stressful day.
Work finally eased up a lot but home just grew to fill it. Had a fair bit of serious resentment and anger going on tonight; more than I've felt in quite a while.

It's still not nearly as bad as it used to be though. I was thinking earlier today over lunch how surprising it was that despite all the events of the weekend and yesterday I hadn't once broken down crying...which happened far more frequently over far less stressful stuff back when I drank. Can't even remember right offhand the last time I -did- have a meltdown though it can't have been that long ago. It isn't that I'm not having feelings it's just that I seem not to need the extreme ends of the bell curve. Nice.

Still not eating as well as I was but I haven't done anything too crazy either. Dessert twice in the same day is about it. I'm keeping aware of the whole food thing but not -worrying- too much about it because this is no time to try anything that even hints, however remotely, at deprivation - screwed up several past sober attempts with too much "getting totally healthy." Right now protecting this baby sobriety (nine months soon! Cruising around the furniture and a handful of garbled words!) is the only health-related self improvement project I need. 

Oh and I have become a big fan of the frozen single-serving pies/pie slices - much better than keeping a whole pie around. 


  1. I can't have pizza anymore, because I will literally eat it all.
    So the single serve ones sound good!
    If they are low salt!

  2. Also so glad you are protecting your baby sobriety!!!

  3. I love the baby sobriety analogy, I agree we need to treat it gently and use encouragement to help it along.
    I have had the odd cry but not the big "look at me crying, you did this too me, aren't you sorry you made me cry" way. My crying has been discreet and brief.
    Nice is right! Well done you on the self realisation.