Today the difference between what I -was- doing and what I -wanted- to be doing was huge. Probably explains why I spent so much of the evening either sad or angry.
What I wanted to do was come home and lie down with my book. What I ended up doing was socializing with the family, taking Middle back down to campus (he had come up for a brief visit,) doing some laundry and listening to increasingly inebriated and pessimistic family members. Only now at bedtime have I got any peace at all.
Work was no great winner either; I'm back on service so I had a lot of cases and several were quite complicated. Tiring but at least in a meaningful way as opposed to the frustrating tiredness from dealing with business-speak and BS. Still.
The weather is lousy too. Joy.
On the other hand I still have this swell sobriety thing going and that's always cool. Next week is my nine-month soberversary and that's cool too.
Time for sleep though - even though I'm not still going to bed at 8 this cold (which has lingered as hoarseness and a cough) is keeping me awfully tired.
What I love about your sober blog, is how you show me how to cope with messy life, without drinking.
ReplyDeleteThe sobriety thing is really cool, and I never want to forget that!
xo
Wendy
What a nice thing to say - thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt took me several months to not just realize but accept that getting sober wasn't some sort of magic wand which made all of life automatically Much Better...life still is just as messy and hard. Difference is that dealing with the hard mess just works better as a sober person. Or as Robin Williams said "I'm still the same asshole; I just have fewer dents in my car."