Another decent day.
Very little activity - spent most of the day finishing the novel I started yesterday. Some of the family drama seems to be resolving.
Had a lot of the Bad Trio: anger, resentment, sadness. Didn't let them become my day though. Was aware of them, reflected on the possible reasons and eventually moved on to other emotions. Not saying I had any sort of personal enlightenment or moment of zen or any damned thing like that -- just got through the day without being totally consumed by negative emotions which I count as a win. Didn't totally consume the contents of fridge or pantry either - emphasis on "totally." Ate too many sweets but given the past couple weeks I've had I cut myself some slack especially as it was only a little too much and not a lot too much.
I think I'm becoming somewhat better at having to actually feel all my feelings. Not a lot better but some.
You know, right about this time in my recovery, I started a "Miracle A Day" campaign. I had this idea that if I somehow started a small miracle (donating to a charity, hiding a $20.00 bill where someone who needed it might find it, just random acts of kindness really), it would give my sobriety more depth and meaning and maybe make me believe that it was worth it. I don't know why I eventually quit doing that, but it must have made a difference because 5 years later, I think it's worth it. But I'm always trying to recreate it, to keep it from becoming mundane.
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