Day 113

A restful and renewing day.

Made the brownies for breakfast - big hit all around. Laundry, lunch and menu planning were the only "work" and I didn't get dressed or leave the house all day.

Mostly I sat on the couch knitting in front of the TV. This felt not like laziness, as it would so often in the past, but like proper self-care in response to a difficult week. It has taken quite a while but I'm starting to learn that "emotionally difficult" is still just as draining - perhaps more so - as "physically difficult" or "many difficult tasks" and should be rested and rewarded accordingly. \

A week from today will be 120 days and the Wednesday after that will be the official four month mark. As the time builds up again I find myself turning more toward the newborn child analogy and thinking that a four-month old is starting to be more "a baby" and less "a newborn."  My sobriety has a social smile, is beginning to babble, can cry in different ways for different needs, can reach for a toy and will express happiness or sadness.

Yup, sounds about right: I can (mostly) be around other people without thinking I'll go mad, am starting to express my emotions in a more effective and rational way, am reaching for self-care tools and non-alcoholic pleasures and can sit with my emotions tp figure out what they are and whether or not I should do anything with them.

Can't roll over both ways, much less crawl and walking is still about five months out but I'm slowly growing a new and better person.