Saturday, September 10, 2016

Day 113

A restful and renewing day.

Made the brownies for breakfast - big hit all around. Laundry, lunch and menu planning were the only "work" and I didn't get dressed or leave the house all day.

Mostly I sat on the couch knitting in front of the TV. This felt not like laziness, as it would so often in the past, but like proper self-care in response to a difficult week. It has taken quite a while but I'm starting to learn that "emotionally difficult" is still just as draining - perhaps more so - as "physically difficult" or "many difficult tasks" and should be rested and rewarded accordingly. \

A week from today will be 120 days and the Wednesday after that will be the official four month mark. As the time builds up again I find myself turning more toward the newborn child analogy and thinking that a four-month old is starting to be more "a baby" and less "a newborn."  My sobriety has a social smile, is beginning to babble, can cry in different ways for different needs, can reach for a toy and will express happiness or sadness.

Yup, sounds about right: I can (mostly) be around other people without thinking I'll go mad, am starting to express my emotions in a more effective and rational way, am reaching for self-care tools and non-alcoholic pleasures and can sit with my emotions tp figure out what they are and whether or not I should do anything with them.

Can't roll over both ways, much less crawl and walking is still about five months out but I'm slowly growing a new and better person.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, you are. How are your baby eyes? Are they fascinated by all the new things in life? Can you watch the ceiling fan go round and round for hours? lol Seriously, I can remember how just knowing I wasn't going to have a hangover again made the world more fascinating.