Sunday, April 16, 2017

Day 331

Busy day. Bed-by-9:30 kind of day.

After a long day with a big to-do list it is just so nice for the default reward to be "climb into bed" instead of "down a drink or two." Going to bed is restful and soothing and simple. Drinking, though I always -thought- it was a relaxing reward, just made everything more complicated. Sleep, doing stuff...all of it. Oh sure I was totally all about -deserving- the booze for years and years and convinced myself it made things better not worse but now that I've been away from it a while (11 months on Friday!) I can see it was all just a big illusion.

I had planned to sit down at my Real Computer with Actual Keyboard and do a big long post but by the time I did all the back-home things I realized bed was what I needed. Maybe I'll be all verbose another day.

Feels good to be finally treating myself more like the way I would treat a beloved relative. Wish I'd started catching onto it decades ago.


  1. I often think the same thing...why didn't i realize how much simpler life can be?
    Oh well, better later than never!

  2. Yes, better late than never!!

  3. Absolutely! Breaking the cycle is hard but so worth it no matter what age.