Day 331

Busy day. Bed-by-9:30 kind of day.

After a long day with a big to-do list it is just so nice for the default reward to be "climb into bed" instead of "down a drink or two." Going to bed is restful and soothing and simple. Drinking, though I always -thought- it was a relaxing reward, just made everything more complicated. Sleep, doing stuff...all of it. Oh sure I was totally all about -deserving- the booze for years and years and convinced myself it made things better not worse but now that I've been away from it a while (11 months on Friday!) I can see it was all just a big illusion.

I had planned to sit down at my Real Computer with Actual Keyboard and do a big long post but by the time I did all the back-home things I realized bed was what I needed. Maybe I'll be all verbose another day.

Feels good to be finally treating myself more like the way I would treat a beloved relative. Wish I'd started catching onto it decades ago.