Monday, June 6, 2016


I tempted the Fates with that sober-sleep-is-great stuff a few days back.

It was still better than waking up slimy with flop-sweat, a racing heart and an impending sense of doom or waking up parched trying to remember how exactly the night had ended but I got lousy sleep last night and it affected my whole day.

Middle worked "till close" for the first time last night and I didn't realize the store had gone to summer hours so that meant 11 not 9. I started expecting him a bit past the 10:30 which had tentatively been on the schedule. By 11:15 I was concerned enough to use "find my iPhone" but his battery had run down so that was no help. I kept telling myself if anything were wrong he or the authorities would call but there was definitely no sleeping. He got in at 11:50 with a story of some tourists from Down South who had wanted 8 sandwiches at five till closing.

So fine, all's well that ends well but now I was frigging awake. Read my book till 12:30 then started trying to go to sleep with little luck. Made one last bathroom break for myself and the dog and I don't know what he smelled or heard but then -he- was up rooting around at the foot of the bed and chewing his feet and generally carrying on.

Finally dozed off sometime a bit past one...and damned if I didn't wake up at 1:47 for no particular reason. Again. Right out of a crazy dream which was vivid at the time but completely gone now. I've been doing that not infrequently: instead of drifting back down into deeper sleep after a REM cycle popping all the way to "awake" instead. Annoying. Anyhow I got back to sleep and the same thing happened at four-something and then the stupid crows decided to have their morning social club right outside my open window around five. I managed to doze after that but I was up for the frigging day at 6:13 and draa-a-a-ggy.

Which is why I'm typing this from bed. When my head hit the pillow at not-quite-eight I thought I'd probably sleep right away but those three Greek bit--no, wait, those three Greek beauties...yeah that's the ticket--weren't done because the phone rang. But hey, at least I'm still horizontal.

All through the day I felt lousy and out of sorts but I noticed at the time and am reflecting now that it was still much better than -any- post-drinking morning and WAY better than some. "Sucky" is definitely relative and sober sucky is tons better than hung over sucky.

Not drinking doesn't magically make things good, much less wonderful -- and even now I have to remind myself of that fact with regularity. Sobriety does, however, make it physically and emotionally easier to deal with all the unchanged Everything Else.

1 comment:

  1. That's exactly right! Sobriety doesn't fix anything but it does give you the emotional strength to move forward and tackle issues rationally!