Four Squared

Because somehow "squared" makes it sound bigger. But hey, 16 is closer to 20 than 7, right? It's also slightly over halfway to 30.

Definitely made the correct choice in fighting the drinking urge yesterday.  I was up for the day by 7:15 which meant out the door to the grocery store by 7:45 in plenty of time to beat the crowds.  I made a point, in the car on the way to the store, to say out loud, "aren't you glad you didn't sneaky drink yesterday? You don't feel guilty or dizzy and you'll be at the store before eight.  Isn't it worth it?!?" Then I quickly amended that last bit to "aren't YOU worth it?!?"

I also saw a ginormous snapping turtle in the small side road along the way.  I appreciated hell out of that turtle. You see, several years ago I was up even earlier on a summer weekday and Spouse was out of bottled water which is a mission-critical item so I had offered to make a quick run to the store before work.  Along the much-busier main road I'd seen something I -thought- was a black cat walking across the road far too close to where I'd turned and swerved in a way that would have allowed the cat to go safely between the wheels....but it was a turtle and I smashed right into it. Can still hear the sickening sounds in my head now.  No doubt it looked like I was deliberately aiming for it which made me even sicker at the time and still does, frankly. Of course I was slightly hung over (I recall waking up thinking "hey, I don't feel nearly as bad as I -thought- I would after that much") and I don't know whether the outcome would have been different if I were as with-it as I am now but it's still a sad reminder cloaked in dizziness and guilt. I've forgiven myself and moved on but "forgive" doesn't equal "forget."

Today was different.  The even-bigger turtle lived and I was rewarded. First, the donut flavor of the week (month?) was Chocolate Banana.  Second, since I had made the list fairly late last night (and was completely sober when I did it) I pretty much remembered everything on it and was only occasionally glancing as I wandered the aisles.  However at the end of the shopping I always make sure to read through carefully lest I forget something and down at the bottom in printing sized to match my own Middle Child had carefully added "1 bag of fucks to give." 

I laughed so hard in frozen foods that an old couple gave me the serious hairy eyeball.  Then I drove my cart back to the toy aisle for a bag of green army men except they were half beige and half some weird not-quite-navy shade of blue.  Those are waiting at Middle's place at the table along with that piece of the grocery list taped to the top.

That's all I have right now so I'll save this much with plans to add more stuff later in the day.

===Later===

We were without cable or internet a good four hours this afternoon into evening.  Not a huge deal though as I was deep into domesticity: laundry, Sunday dinner, working hard to finish the afghan for Eldest. Which probably explains why I'm so tired and achy now that I think about it...ever since dinner I was thinking, "gee, I'm exhausted and I ache but I haven't done anything..." Yeah, right. Puttering adds up and I should do well to remember it.

Middle works till 10:30 tonight so I think I'll bed down on the couch with a book  Looking ahead,Thursday is Day 20 and that's two-thirds of a month.  Yes I have a Day 30 treat already picked out: a box of chocolates from my current favorite company.