Another hard one. Power restored last night but had no land line telephone for a while, many power flickers and still no cable or internet -- I'm using data plan on phone to check in so my blogfriends won't worry.
Refrigerator is sick, possibly dying - shits off every so often for no particular reason. Gotta call repair people tomorrow.
Much tension in family.
Today the only thing keeping me from saying "fuck this shit" and getting good and sloshed was the sure knowledge "but it won't help. I'll still have all the other problems plus guilt, a hangover and a new Day One. No point."
Of course then I fumed because I had NO coping mechanism/crutch. But I knew I had felt that way before - and even blogged about it - so even though I hated it and thought at the time it would never pass I also knew remotely it -would- eventually pass. And it did. Sulked myself to sleep for an afternoon nap like a cranky toddler but was better after.
We watched The Godfather 2 tonight - I had never seen it before. Good movie generally but I also noticed that Michael Corleone - the Don - doesn't drink.
Maybe the week will be better than the weekend was.
I have a refrigerator that is "shitting off" right now, too. Oh the joys of living in a place of power surges and brown outs.
ReplyDeleteGod, when I quit drinking I realized I had 30+ years of coping mechanisms that had never been developed-drinking was my multi-purpose coping strategy. Here's the cool thing though, I finally got to see what I was made of, I finally got to prove to myself that I was strong enough to get through anything without booze. Next time, don't sullk, flex your muscles and kick some ass instead.
I didn't see that typo till now, 24 hours later, but heck it is funny so I'll leave it. And yeah sober coping is way better.
DeleteSounds like a tough few days but love that you realise that drinking wouldn't help and I too get pissed that I know that but don't have an alternative. You are so close to the 90 day mark and then the 100. I hope your week improves and home life mellows out
ReplyDeleteSo happy you realized it wouldn't have helped!
ReplyDelete86 days is great.
I like what way Kary May says, "Kick some ass."
I'm going to use that this week myself!
xo
Wendy
Well done for not drinking. Some days will be bad, but they pass. 86 days is awesome. You are doing this! A x
ReplyDeleteThanks to you all for the good words of support. Much appreciated
ReplyDelete