Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Day 103

The zinc worked. Nipped that pre-sick bud right off the vine.

Little did I know that would be the best thing about this day.

First thing this morning I found out a colleague has a brand new colon cancer diagnosis - and it has already spread to liver and lungs. This makes the -third- co-worker who has retired late and had a new cancer diagnosis within a few months of the farewell party...and the other two only lasted a few months. While I was wandering aimlessly around the building to compose myself I vowed I won't be working one day past 12-31-2033 no matter what. I become eligible for full Social Security benefits at age 67 and since that is the end of October anyhow I figure working the last two months of the year to make the paperwork easier is fine but no more. Nobody in hospice ever once said "gee I wish I'd worked more."

Didn't make me feel a damned bit better about my colleague though.

Even before I got all the way home the family drama was in full swing. So much so that nobody to whom I'm related has any idea how my day went. I'm surprised I'm not more emotional about it but I'm not particularly - I chose to just figure out various ways to not be around it. Took the dog and hung out outside for a while, made a leisurely trip to the grocery and then after a super-easy dinner hid out in my room the rest of the evening emerging only long enough to make ABL's lunch, decide there weren't enough dishes to bother and bid the rest of the family goodnight. I was in bed by 9:30.

I'm just so pleased with myself for not getting sucked into the drama. Removing myself from the equation was absolutely right for me. I hope I don't get a bunch of fallout tomorrow in the form of hurt feelings but if I do I'll deal with it. "Secure your own mask first" isn't just for airplanes any more.


  1. You made me laugh out loud with the airplane-ism!!! That's how I felt when I quit drinking....needed to work on myself a whole lot before trying to change others!

  2. I am glad you are feeling better, and Happy Day 103!!
    That is wonderful!!