Sunday, March 5, 2017

Day 289

Only early afternoon but I wanted to catch this before I forgot:

Had Spouse on phone asking about something on a different level. Going back up the stairs I noticed I was -really- achy and commented about it in tones of puzzlement. Spouse said "well c'mon cut yourself a break; it's been a _busy_ week! Back from this house, got rid of one kid, picked up another , [uncle] died...a lot of stuff happened!"

I stopped dead in my tracks with the realization "yeah...that WAS all just this past week, wasn't it?" Then I got thinking:
Last Sunday: rest and relaxation in other house.
Monday: 300 mile drive, weekly shopping. Laundry.
Tuesday: Farewell to Eldest and SiL, Uncle to ER. Middle up for a few-hour visit; needed driven 30 miles (one way) back. Unexpected work meeting.
Wednesday: Uncle died, 130-mile round trip for work. Laundry.
Thursday: Big power outage so no radiator repair.
Friday: Another unexpected work meeting, fetched Middle at lunchtime, another power outage.
Yesterday: Youngest to play practice; errands downtown. Sewing.
Today: weekly shopping, unsuccessful attempt to buy thread.

Damn when written all out it -is- a lot.


I am grateful for hot baths. More so today than other days because one of my high school friends mentioned on social media how she missed getting down into the bathtub to relax and how the bath stool wasn't the same...and that made me think of at least three other people I know who ate my age but can no longer use standard-size household bathtubs. I am so grateful to still have that ability. So. Grateful.

Also grateful for the ability to still eat a baked potato loaded up with butter and salt as a nice comfort-food dinner, too. I understand potatoes aren't good for Type 2 diabetes and I know people my age with that too.

=Later Still=

Of course I'm grateful for this new sober life I'm building. So much so that it is hard to even put into words. When I was still drinking I kind of had a hunch that long-term sober people had something good that I wanted and it has turned out to be really true - more so than I ever thought possible - but it takes _quite_ a while. I'm probably not very different from anyone else who quit but for me it seemed to be right around the right month mark, maybe a skosh before. The beginning is just so hard that hitting the two month milestone is such an accomplishment...and life -is- way better but for me that's kind of when it leveled out: you don't -keep- feeling incrementally better the way you do in the early days...but if you keep with it things don't get better so much as _deeper_. I'm so glad to be sticking with it.

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