Day 662

Two steps forward; one step back. Overslept by half an hour this morning and was all tired and achy once awake. Oddly enough the kids, who get up at different times, also overslept.

Anyhow I was tired all day and angry for big chunks of it and I came to the couch after dinner planning on knitting and ended up just lying down under a blanket with my Kindle app for Iphone. Not good when even my down-to-just-sleeves-and-finishing sweater sounds like too much work.

We did get a pie for Pi Day though: a pre-made frozen S’mores Pie which featured marshmallow flavored meringue. Tasty but has given me what Youngest calls “the bloatingness.” I’ve discovered that eating real non-processed food -does- make a big positive difference but then I get tired or angry or both and end up chowing down on highly processed additive-laden sweets and/or starches. It would be easier if there were more instantly available -good- food choices but in my corner of rural Upper Northeast there’s nothing like a grocery store salad bar for at least 30 if not 50 miles in any direction and the prepackaged stuff in the deli aisle leans heavily toward mayonnaise based salads with the “exotic” quota being filled by salsa, hummus and the Cedars brand of tabuli and stuffed grape leaves, both of which are often out of date.

And I just realized while lying here that I really -really- don’t feel like assembling a breakfast or lunch for tomorrow. Usually I do because I’m not that impressed with our cafeteria offerings either but too tired/down/annoyed/whatever to knit is also too tired/down/annoyed to do anything else either. I’m closing down the mountain in a big way...which is fine. I’ve made the conscious decision to treat the new Never Ending Winter addition to everything -else- in my life pretty much the way I dealt with very early sobriety: do only the very bare minimum and act as if recovering from flu. There will be time to get back into things like a nice daily walk once the snowdrifts stop being hip-high.

The good need is that despite all the negatives, the idea of drinking hasn’t popped up and doesn’t appeal at all now that I’m lying here consciously thinking about it. It’s just “ew, that wouldn’t help” with a dash of “probably make things worse.” So one does get to that point.