Monday, December 5, 2016

Day 199

Rough day but better now.

Going to work was harder than I expected. Not really ready for no pain medication at all as even with elevation there was a constant nagging ache in the two spots where it has been hurting the whole time. Also why do so many people feel the need to say such silly stuff like "with your cane I can hear you coming before I see you" and "boy,  you sure can't sneak up on anyone now, can you?" At least I've got the "what did you DO?" response down to two words: fractured fibula. 

The whole incapacitated piece really gets to me - I know it is my weirdness but I really dislike clunking around -work- with Mrs Cast and Mr Cane. That's what we call them in relation to the dog as in "he's fine with Mrs Cast but he's still scared of Mr Cane." In any case it was just a drag of self consciousness every time I set foot (haha) outside my office.

Fortunately I have had six months of practicing self care so I knew what to do when I got home: pain mess and a 20-min lie down before anything else. Then a super-easy dinner (I had cereal with milk for the calcium; the meat-eaters had hot dogs.) Fixed the lunch for ABL, made tea and was back on the couch by 6:15 feeling -much- better...then took a nice 90-min nap which was my 2nd of the day as I had _most_ uncharacteristically dozed in my office chair at lunchtime. Don't know why I am so exhausted today but also know enough not to fight it.

All things considered I feel like I'm doing pretty well. I'm acknowledging but not giving in to the negative emotions like frustration, anger and self pity and I'm making lots of conscious decisions -not- to push myself in this or that way but to treat myself with the same kind of kindness and therapeutic courtesy I would anyone else.

No booze thoughts at all other than to get irritated by the "drunkmas" video I have seen on social media lately which features a pretty assisted redhead advocating vodka and "whatever liquid you have in the refrigerator" to make oneself feel better about one's family at the holidays. It's done well enough but as Ambrose Bierce said: we are never more intolerant than of our own faults in others.

Tomorrow will be 200 days. I'm happy for that. 


  1. Oh I love that quote, so very true.
    Your body is obviously needing the rest so I am glad you are just taking the naps to obey the need. Also it is good that you recognise that you should treat yourself as you would someone you cared for.
    The holiday booze ads have started here with a vengeance and it seems the only people who don't drink are portrayed as rather dull, badly dressed cardigan wearing nerds. How wrong can they be!
    Day 200 indeed and then storming on to day 203 for you. I hope you are feeling a bit better still.

  2. I am so happy you took care of yourself.
    I think that is so hard for women, especially moms.
    I didn't even know what self-care meant when I first got sober.
    Ugh on all the booze ads...they just are so far from the truth!
    PS- yay on almost 200 days!!

  3. Thanks ladies -- the accountability of daily blogging has been the "try different" thing I needed this time so the writing of it is kind of enough...but knowing there are people out there who Get It is better still.