Day 206

Hard day.

Couldn't get to sleep till way closer to one than midnight, had crazy dreams, woke up at least once in the night, had stupid school-delay call waking me a half hour before alarm...and the leg was hurting first thing ingbe morning which it hasn't done in ages. Figure it was a combination of weather change and overdoing on the weekend. Noticed it was swollen under the cast and realized belatedly that although sewing is a sit-down activity it also involves a lot of ironing which is standing.

Work had several meetings in addition to heavier than usual number of cases. One of the meetings was lunch with colleagues which was nice but I didn't like either of the two new things I tried and one of my pals said "as long as there's not a nonunion" when I brought up my interim x-ray next week. Hadn't even considered that idea...which took hold better than it otherwise would have done because of the pain and it irritated me that my friend would gloom and doom like that.

My other colleague, however, complimented my new top twice so that was nice.

Going to have to pay more attention to "healing" and less to "carrying on in spite of" though, that's for sure. I'm really terrible at babying myself starting with calling it that instead of taking care of myself or self-nurture or anything else without a negative connotation. No more sewing till the cast is permanently off and no more shopping either...though I can already sense a big mental "maybe" with regard to the latter.

I don't know how exactly "carry on in the face of any adversity and GHAWDforbid you ever ask for -help-" became so embedded in my psyche but I need to start untangling from it. There isn't any great cosmic scorecard and I don't think there are any prizes either.