Thursday, December 8, 2016

Day 202

Long day.

Resolved family drama, car drama and work issues as best I could. Came home in a really foul mood but seem to be doing better now. Can't help but wonder if the pain medication is playing some role in my mood swings and think it is the source of the really wacko dreams I've had lately. Hoping next week I can wean it down yet more...still need it at end of day after going all day without.

Still...managed to get back to 202 days. That feels pretty good. As mentioned before, there was no Day 203 although at this point back then I didn't realize it. I think in retrospect I -was- getting awfully complacent though and I was definitely thinking something along the line of "okay, so got the drinking thing fixed; time to move on to food and exercise and weight loss." Not doing that this time. Also I had a certain amount of "well TWO hundred days proves I don't have a -problem-..." which is, of course, pure bullshit. But that's okay because this time around I'm giving it the respect it deserves and giving myself the respect and self-care -I- deserve. 

I do wish I could figure out a proper do-able treat...but it will come in time I am sure. This limited-mobility thing is getting old though, that's for sure. If I were still -walking- I would have taken myself out to lunch at least once and maybe twice in the past couple weeks...and would have definitely poked around the dime store.

On the other hand this has been a useful lesson in compassion. For others with mobility problems and also for myself with the latter being surprisingly harder than I expected. Bit by bit I am starting to turn off that hypercritical voice in my head.

1 comment:

  1. Well done on 202 days! I hope you're back on your feet soon. A x